My little Teeny Tiny Got his Needle Today

Yep, Sir Flouncy went for his four month needle this morning. He is actually 4.5 months old, but his first one was a bit late too, so it all works out. He is still little, weighing 14 pounds 14.5 ounces and is 25 inches long. He did really well with them, and seems to be okay. But I thought that last time too and around the second day he got REALLY REALLY grouchy, and of course I had no infant tylenol on hand. I made sure this time to pick some up on the way home. :)

I also bought some infant rice cereal, and I think today will be his first day of solids. Ah, he's getting so big! Okay, not big. Old. Hopefully we'll get some pictures of him eating his pablum, and maybe I can post his cute little self with the big head (75 percentile, whereas the rest of him is just below the 50th).

Kids screaming and attacking eachother, gotta go.

And my exciting news for this month...

Is that my dad came for a surpise visit yesterday! I love my dad so incredibly much. He is my idol, I suppose you could say, as he is proof that anyone can change themselves. He was an abusive man in his youth, not a nice father and very controlling of my mother. He was consumed by anger and lashed out at anyone and everything who got in his way. I have some pretty unpleasant memories as a child with him in them. He kicked me out of his house at 14 years old, and we did not speak, write, talk, ANYTHING for three years. Then, at 17, about 10 days before Christmas and on my own with no family to speak of (long story but the rest of my family is WORSE and I avoid them), I took the risk of calling him. Collect call, at that! But I was 17 and broke, and had no long distance, so the only way to get ahold of him was to call collect, and I was fully expecting him to hang up when he heard my name.

Instead, he not only accepted the charges, but after we said, "hello", his next words were, "I love you." It was enough that I almost cried, as I knew then that we were both willing to move on and put the past behind us, and that he was as anxious as I to rebuild some semblance of a relationship.

He has done much changing in all these years, and a big part of that is owed to him finding and following buddhism. He is a wonderful human being now, and I really admire how far he has come in his personal growth. I don't see him very often, and didn't even know he was coming here, but it was a wonderful surprise! He got here just before 11am and stayed until around 4pm, which was actually a long visit for us. I almost cried when he left, but it is how it is. I'll try to get some pics on here. My camera wasn't working at first, (thanks to my 2 year old getting his mitts on it the day before) and I really thought Xander had broken it, but thankfully Jeff got it working again.

I have begun!

Okay, well since my last post, and my decision to get into shape, I have actually started exercising! Of course, it's been about two days.. but still. I am very excited to see the progress that I make. I'm also trying to make better food choices by drinking more water, eating more nuts and fruits and veggies, more protein... I think what I will do is take pictures once a month and hopefully there will be SOME kind of difference.

Of course, I want to be pregnant this month, which won't help in my losing weight, but I'm hoping that even in my pregnancy I can continue some light exercise to at least not blow up like a cow, and perhaps keep some strength to help me carry the baby and deliver it.

I am feeling pretty good about this so far! Go me!

Ever had one of those days when you feel like a fat cow..

Except that its not really a day but months.. (question mark not working, so just imagine them where they should be).

Its actually kind of funny because I felt somewhat skinny after I had Damien, but I realize now that it was relative.. like I was HUGE when pregnant with him. My cheeks, my belly, my thighs and butt -oh God, the thighs!- It wasnt so much that I got skinny after having him as I wasnt *quite* as huge. Which seemed skinny at the time. But here I am, 4.5 months post delivery, and still weigh what I did 2 weeks after he arrived. And I find more and more lately that I am getting really grossed out by my body. Its getting to the point where I H.A.V.E. to do something about it. And since sitting on my (fat) butt and complaining whilst eating chocolate isnt doing the trick, apparently something else is called for.

I think when Jeff gets home from work Ill get him to *gasp!* take pics of me and I will post them. Gross, and your eyeballs might fall off. But I need to fix this and feel better about myself, and it might help if I see pictures of where I came from as I go along..

Mind you, we are starting this month to try for another baby. While getting pregnant AGAIN is not generally an anecdote for losing weight, I can try to tone up and lose weight while I am waiting for our last (hopefully pink but last nonetheless) child.

Hi, my name is Lisa and I'm a procrastinator

So it seems that I started a blog so that I could neglect it. That won't do, I'll have to make more of an effort. But if it helps, it's not the only thing I'm procrastinating on doing.. we have yet to start any kind of boot camp - although in my defense, the tv has been OFF almost all day and I've taken away the boys' computer and video game time as well as some playdates with friends when they are not listening very well - I'm not doing very well at exercising or eating well, and my house is soooooo not organized. I start, have the best intentions, KNOW it's going to go well.... and lose motivation faster than a two year old's attention span fizzling out. So what I've done this week in regards to my house, is picked a room and made a list of every thing I want done in it, from top to bottom, and I gave myself all week to do it. I figure I'll move on to a new room every week, and that way the deep cleaning still gets done but I'm not spending aalllllll day working on it.

Oh, and as for baby news, Damien is the only baby around. No new pregnancy, and can't get pregnant this month either; I have an ear infection that I'm on meds for and I think I should not get pregnant while on them - the pharmacist said they were pretty strong drugs. And speaking of Damien, he is getting to that really fun stage.. probably my favorite part of the babyness. You know, when they're still too young and underdeveloped that they're not getting into things, but they're interacting more. He smiles a lot now, and coos, too! He's trying to laugh, although I really haven't heard a real one out of him yet. I worry to some extent, he IS almost 4 months old. But he also didn't start smiling until about 2.5 months either, so I guess he's just behind. I KNOW he was a 36 weeker, (his records say 37) and these delayed milestones just proves it to me. If you think about it, and took a month off his "smiling" milestone, it would be 1.5 months, which is normal. And laughing.. that would make him not quite three months old (adjusted age) so that is more on track too.. Anyways. :) He's trying to grab for toys that dangle in front of him, and he has now discovered his hands, so he spends a good part of the day sucking on them. As Xander said one day, "AWWWWWW! How Cuuuutttttteeeeee!" :)

Taken Over By The Baby Fever Monster!

Okay. Go back to post #1 where it says blah blah blah "ttc in december".. Well long story but I get this idea to test with an opk last night, and wouldn't you know it's POSITIVE! Baby fever monster POUNCES on this information, takes over my rational thinking and says: Ba-by NOW! Ba-by NOW! It whispers in my ear things like, "WHY are you waiting?! It makes no difference.. then. Now. It's all the same. Especially NOW!"

Welllll of course this Baby Fever Monster would never lie to me so I figure oh what the hell. Let's see what happens. Now, I do chart using FAM and will know if ovulation has occured like I think it is going to. I need three high days of temps. If I get those... it's then a countdown of how-many-days-til-I-can-pee-on-a-stick?

Oh, and speaking of babies, my adorable but grouchy 3 month old is definitely getting a tooth! It's funny, he's so tiny, rarely ever gets tears when he cries, sounds like a newborn, still does that tongue sticky out-y that newborns do.. and is getting a tooth! I guess because he seems so new, I really didn't think he'd get one so early. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, though.. all of my kids but one had teeth by 6 months old...

Oh, and speaking of monsters, we still have no plan for Mr. Keanu. Working on it...

6 year old -- Free to Good Home! :)

My third child, Keanu, was probably the best baby you could ever imagine. He almost never cried, even at his own birth. The first time I heard his cry was a couple hours after delivery, and it was only becuase he was hungry. He turned into a fabulous one year old. You could take him in public without a stroller because he would hold your hand and walk along nicely, neither touching things nor running away. At two he was still a perfect little angel, the sweetest and most hilarious little boy I've seen. He had the best sense of humor and loved to laugh. He LOVED everything! (you could tell by the way he said, "I LOVE that! I LOVE this!") Even when he was serious, he was funny. The way he used to say "ambulance" sounded like "onion". I was always confused, when he'd suddenly say, "Look, onion!" And I'd say "what? Onion?!?!" And he'd come back with "No. AAAAA----MMMMM----EEEEEE-----AAAAA---NNNN... Do you uuunnnnnnn------dddddddeeeeerrrrrrrr-----sssssttttttaaaaaaannnnnddddd?" You know, dragging out the words, enunciating very carefully, as if I were slow to catch on to things. Kinda funny when you're patronized by a 2 year old!

At three something changed and he became more difficult. Ah well, par for the course, right? Except that he's going to be six at the end of this week, and it's worse than ever! This boy has a TEMPER! He's very ungrateful. He's also very... oh, let's be honest. He's lazy. I'm not sure I've ever seen a lazier child. Ironically, he will expend fifteen times more energy to get out of something than it would take to just do it. I can't get him to listen. And I KNOW he does this on purpose. One day, at lunchtime a few months back, I was getting ready to go to work. I said, "Lupe, you going to be a good boy today?" He says, "Oh, yes! I'm always good at school." I said, "WEll, that's good, but I'm talking about at home. Are you going to be a good listener for daddy?" His answer? "Oh. I'm not sure yet."

True story.

Today is a particularly trying day. I'm *this close* to writing on the back of cardboard "Free to Good Home" and sending him to stand on the corner to see if there's any takers. Little does he know, when his dad comes home tonight, we're going to talk. We'll come up with a plan and this little boy is in for some "Grateful bootcamp" (got this from someone, thanks, you know who you are! *wink*) Okay, I'm not a hundred percent sure exactly how it'll work. We'll work that out and keep you posted on the progress.

Me, Joining the Millions of Other Bloggers :)

Well, here I am. Starting a blog. I've considered one previously, but never really thought I was interesting enough to write about. I'm still not sure I'm all that interesting, but I have things I want to change in my life and thought it would be kind of cool to have a record of the progress.

What kind of things, you wonder? Wellllllll.... I need more harmony in my life. My house is CRAZY out of control. I have six kids, and my oldest just turned nine, so we have mess and noise and chaos. :) My laundry pile is so big I am pretty sure it's going to eat me soon. We recieve so many papers from the kids' schools that I think we have half a forest sitting on the computer desk (and bookshelves. and in the drawers. and...) Now that things are warming up outside and my kids are playing in the yard more, I think they've tracked in enough dirt that it's a contest between my kitchen floor and my yard to see which has more... you know, THAT kind of chaos. My mental health is just begging me to get organized home-wise!

Then there's my buddhism. I've fallen in love with this religion and would LOVE to start following it. I've even gone so far as to enter the monastery and inquire about times for dharma talks and such... I was going to go easter weekend.... and then chickened out. I feel like I am not "qualified" to be there, as I am sure those who attend are much more versed in such matters and might find me lacking. Of course, this is only my own insecurities and I need to get over it. I mean, everyone needs to start somewhere, right? So rather than seeing me as an imposter they would likely welcome another member. Tomorrow, perhaps? .....

Did I mention I just had a baby three months ago today? His name is Damien and he is incredibly cute --- during daylight hours. And when his mouth is not open, screaming. Okay, so we're down to about three and a half seconds in the morning when he's cute. LOL Just kidding. I love him to pieces, but he is pretty demanding. But even still, we're planning on trying for another (and final) baby in december of this year. So my mission is to lose weight and get healthy for that time. I weigh about 174 pounds right now! I can hear ya'll gasping about how terrible that is, and I am going to have to agree. I never want to be the 120 pounds that I used to be (even after having my first three kids!) but 174 is not okay in my books. Particularly because I developed PIH at the end of Damien's pregnancy, and it got worse after the birth. It was a scary time. No one can explain why some women develop this, no one can predict with certainty that someone will develop it, and there is no real way to prevent it but I know that -generally speaking- being overweight can aggravate/cause high blood pressure, so I figure it really can't hurt to be a normal weight when I get pregnant!

I have more things to work on, but those are my "big" ones. When it all comes down to it, I am searching for harmony in my life. Hence, the title of my blog...

Edited to change the size of font :)

Lisa